Search Results: the-dance-of-anger-a-woman-s-guide-to-changing-the-pattern-of-intimate-relationships

The Dance of Anger

A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062328522

Category: Self-Help

Page: 256

View: 8549

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

The Dance of Anger

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061759589

Category: Self-Help

Page: 256

View: 8336

"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers.While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

The Dance of Anger

A Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships

Author: Harriet Goldhor Lerner

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

ISBN: 0722536232

Category: Anger

Page: 239

View: 3606

A fresh new jacket design brings this classic self-help guide up to date for a contemporary readership. One of the forerunners to today's pop psych market along with Women Who Love Too Much, this multimillion bestseller shows us how anger affects women's relationships and explains how to turn this often destructive force into a constructive one.

Marriage Rules

A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101554215

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 288

View: 4841

Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.) You'll also learn how to: Calm things down and warm them up Talk straight and fight fair Listen well as a spiritual practice Connect with a distant partner Survive the unique challenges of children, stepchildren and difficult- laws Follow a 12-step program to overcome defensiveness Know how and when to draw the line Take back your marriage when things fall apart Marriage Rules is a treasure chest of lively, practical advice to help you navigate your couple relationship with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction. If one person in a couple follows ten rules of his or her choice, it will generate a major, positive change. All that's required is a genuine wish for a better relationship and a willingness to practice.

The Dance of Intimacy

A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

Author: Harriet Goldhor Lerner

Publisher: HarperThorsons

ISBN: 9780722538050

Category: Change (Psychology)

Page: 255

View: 4561

This guide outlines the steps women, as well as men, can take to strengthen good relationships and heal difficult ones. It is also available on two 90-minute audio-cassettes from HarperAudio.

Women in Therapy

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0060972289

Category: Psychology

Page: 288

View: 609

In clear, lively prose, Harriet Lerner takes a bold look at women and the psychotherapists who work with them.

The Dance of Connection

How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780061851834

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 272

View: 8981

Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships. The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.

Why Won't You Apologize?

Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1501129627

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 208

View: 3453

“If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong “Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury. Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

The Dance of Fear

Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061983713

Category: Self-Help

Page: 256

View: 2229

Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions. Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn: how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss how "positive thinking" helps -- and harms how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can’t avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

The Dance of Intimacy

A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780061741074

Category: Psychology

Page: 272

View: 2448

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

The Mother Dance

How Children Change Your Life

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061847097

Category: Psychology

Page: 336

View: 2863

From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out. Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them. Here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance.

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Author: Harriet Lerner,Susan Goldhor,Helen Oxenbury

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780060517854

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 40

View: 1842

Franny B. Kranny refuses to cut her wild hair, despite her family's insistence, and wears a bird in her hair to a family reunion.

Growing Yourself Up

How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships

Author: Jenny Brown

Publisher: Exisle Publishing

ISBN: 1775593592

Category: Self-Help

Page: 296

View: 2947

To be human is to be in relationships. We can’t survive without them but it’s in relationships that we can so easily get unravelled. Some relationships just seem to do us in. Either we feel like we lose ourselves or feel burnt out from futile efforts to make things right for another. In our relationships we can experience the very best of ourselves and the very worst. The message of Growing Yourself Up is that you can’t separate understanding the individual from understanding relationships. All of life’s relationships are integral to increasing self-awareness and maturity. And it’s not necessarily the comfortable relationships that promote personal growth. In this 2nd edition of the bestselling book, Jenny examines how to help others without fostering dependency, and how to determine what kind of help you or others want from therapists. This is in response to the many lay and professional people who have found this book valuable personally and want to know how to help others grow. Drawing from Bowen family systems theory, the book takes you on a journey through each stage of life to see predictable patterns of relationships and to show how to use this knowledge to make purposeful adjustments in yourself; as well as lending a mature helping hand to others. The result is a sturdier self, sturdier relationships and a refreshing new way to view life’s challenges and opportunities.

Overcoming Anger in Your Relationship

How to Break the Cycle of Arguments, Put-Downs, and Stony Silences

Author: W. Robert Nay

Publisher: Guilford Press

ISBN: 9781606236437

Category: Psychology

Page: 259

View: 8485

Has your relationship become a battlefield? Does your partner's sarcasm, irritability, or hostility make you wonder where the closeness and trust have gone—and how much more you can take? If anger is poisoning your relationship, this book offers a powerful antidote. Anger expert W. Robert Nay provides clear-cut, practical techniques for responding productively to inappropriate expressions of anger. Learn how anger gains a foothold in a couple's life, why your usual responses may unwittingly reward bad behavior, and how to stand up for yourself in ways that promote lasting change. Self-quizzes and step-by-step suggestions for dealing with different types of angry behavior are illustrated with true-to-life examples. Grounded in psychological science, the strategies in this book are simple yet surprisingly effective. Try them for yourself—and for the person you love. See also Dr. Nay's Taking Charge of Anger, Second Edition, which helps you understand and manage destructive anger in all its forms, and The Anger Management Workbook: Use the STOP Method to Replace Destructive Responses with Constructive Behavior, which builds core anger management skills using interactive exercises.

All the Single Ladies

Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation

Author: Rebecca Traister

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1476716579

Category: History

Page: 339

View: 9084

"Today, only twenty percent of Americans are wed by age twenty-nine, compared to nearly sixty percent in 1960. The Population Reference Bureau calls it a 'dramatic reversal.' [This book presents a] portrait of contemporary American life and how we got here, through the lens of the single American woman, covering class, race, [and] sexual orientation, and filled with ... anecdotes from ... contemporary and historical figures"--

Anger, the misunderstood emotion

Author: Carol Tavris

Publisher: Touchstone

ISBN: 9780671495336

Category: Psychology

Page: 302

View: 8333

"This landmark book" (San Francisco Chronicle) dispels the common myths about the causes and uses of anger -- for example, that expressing anger is always good for you, that suppressing anger is always unhealthy, or that women have special "anger problems" that men do not. Dr. Carol Tavris expertly examines every facet of that fascinating emotion -- from genetics to stress to the rage for justice. Book jacket.

Created for Connection

The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples

Author: Sue Johnson,Kenneth Sanderfer

Publisher: Little, Brown

ISBN: 0316307408

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 336

View: 6783

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."--1 John 4:8 Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In CREATED FOR CONNECTION, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God. The message of CREATED FOR CONNECTION is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, CREATED FOR CONNECTION will ensure a lifetime of love.

The Dance of Deception

Pretending and Truth-Telling in Women's

Author: Harriet Lerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061852740

Category: Psychology

Page: 272

View: 477

When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse. We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth. Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling. Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first. Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.

We Love Each Other, But . . .

A Leading Couples Therapist Shares the Simple Secrets That Will Help Save Your Relationship

Author: Ellen Wachtel

Publisher: Golden Books Adult Publishing

ISBN: 1466812982

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 224

View: 4764

We Love Each Other, But...offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships. In fact, she shows you and your partner how you can stay interested in each other for the rest of your lives.

Necessary Dreams

Ambition in Women's Changing Lives

Author: Anna Fels

Publisher: Anchor

ISBN: 0307834131

Category: Social Science

Page: 320

View: 5786

In this groundbreaking book about how women perceive, are prepared for, and cope with ambition and achievement, psychiatrist Anna Fels examines ambition at the deepest psychological level. Cutting to the core of what ambition can provide—the essential elements of a fulfilling life—Fels describes why, for women but not for men, ambition still remains fraught with often painful conflict. Fels draws on case studies, research, interviews, and autobiographies of accomplished and celebrated women past and present—writers, artists, architects, politicians, actors—to explore the ways in which women are brought up to avoid recognition and visibility in favor of traditional feminine values and why they often choose to nurture and defer to rather than compete with men. She poses invaluable questions: What is the nature of ambition and how important is it in a woman’s life? What are the forces that promote or impede its development? To what extent does ambition go against a woman’s very nature? And she challenges currently held theories about the state of mind and the needs of men. Incisive and highly readable, Necessary Dreams is a unique exploration of the options and obstacles women face in the pursuit of their goals. It is a book that every woman will want—and need—to read.

Find eBook