Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the bookshop, comes bestselling author Richard Wilson's triumphant follow up to Can't Be Arsed and Don't Even Think About It!, How Not to Talk Like an Arse is Mr Wilson's hilarious, and topical, self righteous stab at the modern day vernacular, taking aim at the invention of ridiculous, nonsensical words that not only are just plain crap but also make those who dare speak them sound like complete twits. Richard waxes lyrical on awful words such as 'Ciao', 'Hurting', 'Fashionista' and 'Staycation'. He also lets loose on how those words were created and how they escaped and survived in the wild instead of being killed at a young age. Written in Richard's utterly fantastic ranting style, this sharp-shooting of the ridiculousness of the modern english language – and the morons who use it – is a must-have for everyone this Christmas.
Welcome. Come amuse yourself in the company of slime-dripping vagina jaws, Aboriginal ABBA tribute bands and Deliverance-quoting parrots. This trio of politically incorrect comedies, which bleakly focus on male inadequacy and misogyny, will introduce you to a bunch of chronic misfits kicking around Wales, Australia and South Korea. But be warned - you may grow to like some of them. Just make sure you don't leave this little encyclopaedia of dysfunction on your maiden aunt's chair... Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after... Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate The Inbetweeners, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. Book 2: Manic Streets of Perth Perth. It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laidback locals are being eaten by sharks. Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same... Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles. Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets of Perth is an easy to read comedy. Book 3: English Toss on Planet Andong Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy... Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation. Total length: 240,000 words.
An Irreverent Story of Coming of Age During the 1940s in Toronto
Author: Doug Taylor
Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn found adventure on the banks of the mighty Mississippi. Tom Hudson and his friend "Shorty" discovered it in the secluded laneways and avenues of a deceptively quiet Toronto neighbourhood. Arse Over Teakettle is an intriguing tale of Tom Hudson's boyhood escapades in Toronto during the 1940s. He and his mischievous friend, Shorty, encounter eccentric characters such as Grumpy, an unconventional older man in the neighbourhood, and their fierce neighbour-Mrs. Leyer. Their confrontations with the Kramer Gang are sometimes painful and at other times hilarious. As Tom and his friends become sexually aware, amusing situations develop. Shorty constantly pushes Tom to explore beyond the secure boundaries of childhood, into the world of the "big boys." An intimate and heartfelt tale of family life in Toronto, Arse Over Teakettle is set during the decade when the city is transforming from a parochial city into a cosmopolitan urban centre. In Tom's neighbourhood, difficulties arise as he confronts ethnic and religious prejudice, which wounds his boyhood friends.
The story of The Pogues has been as riotous as their most rabble-rousing songs. From the streets of 80s London the Celtic Punks unleashed their hellraising 20-year career and in the process became legends; mythic troubadours whose popularity endures. This Omnibus Enhanced edition of Kiss My Arse has been revamped with an interactive digital timeline which paints the journey of The Pogues with videos and images of live performances, interviews, memorabilia and more. Also included is an integrated Spotify playlist containing the band’s greatest performances. To tell their story author Carol Clerk has interviewed Shane MacGowan, Spider Stacy, Jem Finer, Andrew Ranken, James Fearnley, Cait O'Riordan, and a clutch of associates, friends and fans. All paint a picture of a fiercely loyal group of musicians, their arguments and drunken spats, their love affairs, the drugs, the hirings and the firings, the marriages and deaths… but, above all, the music. This is their story, bared for all.
In her home in Dublin, Moya is preparing for the funeral mass of her husband, Enda. From England and America her children are returning for the sombre occasion. But as the ghosts of the Doyle family's past begin to materialese, the consequences are both profoundly disturbing and memorably comic... Red Roses and Petrol was premiered at the Project Arts Centre, Dublin, in May 1995. It transferred to the Tricycle Theatre, London, in July.
TLC’s While You Were Out top designer Mark Montano’s wildly anticipated follow-up to The Big-Ass Book of Crafts features more than 300 easy and fun crafts, with tips and tricks for quirky projects to make at home. Searching for crafty inspiration? Eager to try some new techniques? Need some more junk for your trunk? Well, look no further! In this cheeky sequel, Mark Montano picks up where his wildly popular The Big-Ass Book of Crafts left off, with even more spectacular—and easy-to-make—projects sure to satisfy crafters of all skill levels. Turn colorful ribbons into a show-stopping scarf . . . transform old cargo pants into a kick-ass carryall . . . a high-drama neckpiece made out of zippers? Absolutely. Along with a host of other wearable wonders, this exciting all-new volume includes sections such as Pillow Talk (fun, comfy, and made from the most surprising materials), Letter Perfect (cool designs to pop into the mailbox nearest you), Hey, I Could Use That (make a big statement with little things from magnets to nail polish), Just Kid-ding (cheery décor made from kid-centric stuff, guaranteed to make you smile!), That’s Shoe Biz (fun fixes that give sidelined footwear and handbags a whole new life), and dozens of other ideas that are inventive, imaginative, and just plain fun. With his trademark humor and no-holds-barred approach to crafting, Mark will have you tapping into your creative soul and taking simple techniques to a whole new level in no time. We’re not talking plant-hangers and potholders here—the more than 150 handmade projects in this truly unique compendium are artistic, eye-catching, and cutting-edge, from cool brooches and earrings to ingenious belts and bags, from Bauhaus-style furniture to fishbowl lanterns, and so much more!
' ... Rubinstein is far from innocent and comes to our aid with a lot of learning ... and is quite right to urge that not to appreciate the sexiness of Shakespeare's language impoverishes our own understanding of him. For one thing, it was a strong element in his appeal to Elizabethans, who were much less woolly-mouthed and smooth-tongued than we are. For another, it has constituted a salty preservative for his work, among those who can appreciate it ... an enlightening book.' A.L. Rowse, The Standard.
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The Funniest Collection of Drinking Anecdotes You'll Ever Read
Author: Ricky Tomlinson
Ricky Tomlinson, author and entertainer, has worked in pubs and clubs up and down the country and seen more than his fair share of last orders. CHEERS . . . MY ARSE! is his hilarious collection of classic tales from the heart of publand. Featuring riotous stories that celebrate our best-loved hell raisers - Richard Harris, Peter O'Toole, Oliver Reid and Richard Burton, to name a few - and the escapades of modern-day drinking heroes (like the Gallagher brothers and Johnny Vegas), this is the perfect book for anyone who's ever had one too many . . .